"Freeze the world in time to understand..."

What happens when you think you trust someone and they prove you were just naive in all sense of the word?

I am afraid to admit, once again, that I fell into that trap. We have all been through relationships where we were hurt and felt completely broken.We've all had friends who have warned us about a person but we just don't listen. It's liketh e ones who could hurt us the worst should have to walk around with a huge sign screaming WARNING: CANNOT BE TRUSTED RUN AWAY AND NEVER LOOK BACK. Unfortunalty, if we don't ever go through this pain, we will never know how to grow.

But what happens when we don't want to see the signs, even if there was a WARNING sign hanging around their neck screaming for you to read? What happens when you are in too deep and can't sift through the love and lust feelings? Am I falling in love or getting deeper in lust? Will I be able to catch myself or dig myself out if I let this go on further? Unfortunalty, only time can tell with this one...

I met him and I couldn't stop my stomach from tightening or get my mouth to stop smiling. I kissed him and couldn't stop shaking from the excitment and electricity. I didn't tell anyone for fear he would disappear. As time went on, we grew closer. I fell harder (dug deeper?). His response was what I needed to feel ok, to make the day a little brighter.

More time passed, then I felt stuck because I needed his response and he  was slowly disappearing. My desperate, vulnerable heart lashed out, begging for some kind of life but he was gone. I was pounding on the door but no one answered. My days went on but I felt numb like I was going through someone else's cycle. I woke up and did the same thing every day, trying to stop my head from thinking. I tried falling asleep with the TV on, then off. Headphones in then out but nothing turned my mind off. I let him think I was fine then I let him think nothing at all because I realized I had disappeared. I didn't know who I was anymore because I had let the one thing touch me that I vowed never to happen again...I let down a wall, broken a promise, let someone in, became vulnerable...fallen. Meanwhile, he had found another distraction when I was falling and digging the hardest and deepest...

This all should sound familar to each of us and if it doesn't then you haven't experianced true heartbreak. It is one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with in my life because I cannot control my feelings..but I suppose I have to trust in the turbulence of life...